Talking with Anyone – What Do You Need?
If you are the type that sits alone at a party with a hundred people just because you don‟t know anyone there, you definitely need to improve your skills of communication. Communication is the key to anything – making friendships, striking business contracts, impressing people and even getting yourself a life partner. You cannot do any of these without talking with someone.
But if talking with someone unfamiliar is something that scares the heebie-jeebies out of you, you need a quick sizing up. Probably something is seriously wrong there. Talking is actually one of the natural things that we do – it is as natural as breathing for most of us – so what‟s holding you back.
Let us begin by trying to see the most important things that you will need in order to be able to talk with anyone.
Note that I will always use the phrase „talking with someone‟ here as opposed to „talking to someone‟. This is not about grammar, but it is more about what I think. Talking is not something you do alone. You do it with someone. It is not that you just keep on going blah-blah and the other person just listens. They are talking with you too. It is a collaborated effort.
The first thing you need to start any kind of conversation is confidence. Here confidence basically means that you should have some knowledge of your self-worth. You should know that you amount to something and that is what you need to project when you are trying to open a conversation with someone. It is only when they understand that listening to you will mean something to them will they take the time. However, your confidence will only show when you are really happy with your self-worth. Hence, this is more about a self-evolvement thing than personality development.
I would say this is what gives the power to keep any conversation going. What does being considerate mean in this context? It simply means this – You have to be as much aware of the other person as you are about yourself. If you get a break at a conversation with someone, it does not mean that you will just go on rambling about yourself. Give an equal opportunity to the other to speak. Listen to what they say. Ask about them. Make them feel important in the talk too.
You may start with a single topic, but if you want to keep a conversation going on, it is best to be diverse. Once you know what the person likes, you could continue talking about that subject. But it would be foolish to talk about Hollywood thrillers to a person who hasn't ever watched a movie, wouldn't it? You must make an effort to keep broadening your vistas of knowledge all the time. Remember that the more you know the more will you be able to talk.
A conversation commits partial suicide when you forget an important detail about someone. It would be ridiculous if you have been speaking with someone for fifteen minutes and you have already forgotten their name which they mentioned. On the other hand, if you speak specifically to someone about something that pertains to them, you will almost always get a good reply. A good memory is vital to good conversation; I have always experienced that.
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