People with low self-esteem rarely live their life
to the full. They distance themselves from others, and are thus denied their
love and support. They rarely, if ever, make full use of their abilities.
Instead, they end up brooding about the injustices of life. Such people are a
loss to themselves, their family and to society. Some of them even take to
crime, alcohol and drugs.
Invariably, people with low self-esteem are
uncomfortable with success. They tend to believe that they don’t deserve
success, and they have no clue as to how to savor success. At the same time,
they do not hesitate to blame themselves if things go wrong. They take sadistic
pleasure in telling the world that they knew things would go wrong. This is an
important symptom of low self-esteem, and needs to be treated at the earliest.
People suffering from low self-esteem also have the habit of
putting themselves down. They repeatedly tell themselves that they are not good
enough and that they are bound to fail. Over a period of time this negative
self-talk turns into a negative self-belief. More than that, they try and
implant these seeds of negativity in people around them. They also gravitate
towards people who suffer from similar problems. The end result is that they
feed on each other’s negativity, and become much poorer individuals than they
initially were.
A high level of dissatisfaction is another indicator of low
self-esteem. There are people who spend all their time complaining. They neither
see a positive thing in others nor in themselves. This cynicism eats away their
self-belief, and erodes their self-confidence. In contrast, people who value
their abilities enjoy high self-esteem.
Also, people with low self-esteem spend most of their time
brooding about the past and worrying about the future. They don’t spend enough
time living in the present. As a result, they don’t enjoy the present, even
though it may be full of success. The net result is that they prevent
themselves from enjoying life, and make themselves unhappy. It finally becomes
a vicious cycle that feeds upon itself, and prevents them from breaking out of
their negative mould
Such people are rarely relaxed and at ease. They keep
looking for different jobs and lines of work. The reason why they are always
looking for something else to do is that they are lack self-confidence. They
drift from one crisis to another, and blame fate for their woes.
A few of them take to alcohol, drugs, food, sex etc to get a
temporary “high”. But this rarely helps them in the long run. They fail to
generate a sustainable feeling of happiness and contentment.
People with low self-esteem also have problems getting close
to others. They are not comfortable with intimacy and create barriers to
prevent people from coming close to them. They don’t like to open up to people
and to reveal their innermost thoughts. They may be nursing some old bad
experience with someone who caused them a lot of pain or who let them down when
they were most vulnerable. By forcing themselves to live in a world of
self-denial they are doing a great damage to themselves. They fail to benefit
from the company of others, and keep entrenching themselves deeper and deeper
into their negative world. They may ultimately reach a stage where they may be
declared beyond salvage.
But this is not good for society. People with low
self-esteem must be helped. Their symptoms must be diagnosed, and help provided
if they have to be turned into useful members of society. This help can be
given by family members, friends, teachers or by trained psychologists.
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